A Thought is Where it Starts

Experts estimate that the mind thinks between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day.  That’s an average of 2,500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour.  According to some research, as many as 98 percent of those thoughts are exactly the same as we had the day before… talk about creatures of habit!  Even more significant, 80 percent of those thoughts are negative or not self-serving.

Our thoughts shape our reality.  If 80 percent of your recurring thoughts are negative EVERY DAY, how do you think that shapes your day?

The great Chinese philosopher – Lao Tzu – said: ‘Watch your thoughts, they become words.  Watch your words, they become actions.  Watch your actions, they become habit.  Watch your habits, they become character.  Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.’ 

It All Starts with What’s In Your Head

The lens through which you view the world is predominately determined by your thoughts.  For so many of us, we become numb to these recurring beliefs.  After months and years and sometimes decades of the same limiting belief – our reality has become the living representation of the belief itself. 

The frequency of those thoughts becomes so extreme that they engrain themselves into your everyday routine hiding in plain sight unbeknownst to the one person that created them.   

For example – I remember, when I first started my business, I was a new mom, a new wife, a new homeowner, a new business owner and I was barely getting any rest.  Every day I was beyond exhausted. 

I didn’t recognize the limiting belief until about a year later, my husband pointed out that almost every hour of every day I was saying out loud that I’m exhausted.  Of course, I was exhausted, my thought pattern was shaping my reality.

The Link Between What You Think, What You Feel and Your Behavior

Your mind is very powerful.  Yet, if you’re like most people, you probably spend very little time reflecting on the way you think. After all, who thinks about thinking? 

Your thoughts are a catalyst for self-perpetuating cycles. What you think directly influences how you feel and how you behave. So, if you think you’re a failure, you’ll feel like a failure. Then, you’ll act like a failure, which reinforces your belief that you must be a failure. 

Once you draw a conclusion about yourself, you’re likely to do two things; look for evidence that reinforces your belief and discount anything that runs contrary to it. 

Your feelings or emotional responses are the first signs of your thoughts manifesting.  That’s usually the first line of defense we have against these bothersome and sometimes irritating negative thoughts.  And… sometimes, these emotional responses are just as numbing as the thought itself. 

For me, FEELING exhausted was normal, so rarely did I stop to ask why.  When I did, I responded with my limiting belief which supported the negative thought – ‘I’m exhausted because I work so much.’

See how sometimes even our feelings can inevitably support the negative belief?

Okay, so my feeling is one of exhaustion because my recurring thoughts are about being exhausted, so how do I show up?  How will my behavior inadvertently reflect the feeling… I’ll BE exhausted

I remember at that time in my life, I would fall asleep typing at a computer… I was that exhausted.  I could barely stay awake for a call.  I was living on caffeine and chocolate, because my belief was that those things would give me energy.  Unhealthy behaviors led to more unhealthy behaviors which led to more exhaustion. 

Thoughts create feelings which elicit behaviors, and those behaviors perpetuate the feeling which reinforces the thought. 

CONGRATULATIONS, now you understand how thoughts impact your reality.  Now let’s talk about how to repair unhealthy beliefs.  

How to Reverse Negative Beliefs

Negative thoughts and beliefs are sneaky and insidious; they take hold when you’re not paying attention and seep into every crevasse of your life.  You can, however, train your brain to stop going straight to the negative and instead redirect to positive thoughts.   

You are NOT a victim to the negative thoughts in your head – you have a say over which thoughts to pay attention to – a predisposition that takes simple practice to learn.       

Step 1:  When you experience a feeling or a trigger, STOP and reflect.  Ask yourself – ‘Why I am a feeling this way?’  Separate yourself from the response, allow yourself to be your own best friend without judgement or self-hatred.  Your answer to the why will reveal the thought pattern.

Step 2: Create a mantra that is in opposition of the negative or limiting thought.  Choose a word or phrase that will help bring you peace and encourage you to focus on the positive.   

Example:  I’m exhausted…

Opposing Mantra:  I’m living in full energy!

Once you choose your mantra, say it often.  Set a reminder on your phone during the times you forecast you’ll need it most.  Write it on a sticky note and place it in areas throughout your day to remind you to stay positive. 

Step 3: Change your surroundings.  Sometimes your thoughts can seem so loud that the best thing to do is to change your physical surroundings.  Take a walk, go for a run, or meet up with a friend. The point is to engage in something other than the negative cycle so that you can come back to the problem later when you’re in a clearer head space.

Choose an activity or location that you find enjoyable and you know will leave you feeling better. If you need the company of others, be sure to surround yourself with people who will encourage your positive thinking. 

Use our FREE actionable workbook to become aware of your negative thoughts throughout certain areas of your life and create a plan to course correct.  

Negative thought patterns, particularly when they’ve become habitual, can be hard to break. Patterns that have been in place for years won’t be undone overnight, so it’s essential to be compassionate and patient with yourself as you work through them. 

Remember that you are not a victim to your negative thoughts and that you can simply decide at any point in your life to believe something different.   You are capable of achieving your grandest life and your limitations are only as real as you make them. 

With peace & love, Michelle Marie King

Get the tools to create your best self with effortless ease in our Free Online Resource Library. 
If you’d like support with conquering your negative thought patterns, talk a Positive Presence Mentor

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Jessica Waugh

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Jessica has roughly 20 years of experience in the food and beverage industry, curating premier wine programs in Las Vegas and developing educational programs for the largest beverage distribution company in North America. In 2022, Jessica altered her focus and is now utilizing her educational, management, and organizational skills to positively impact others on a grander scale. She is now developing multiple modalities focused in emotional intelligence, executive functioning, meta-learning, and positive psychology for struggling teens and young adults.

Favorite Mindfulness Techniques:

Meditating with sound bowls!

A Fun Fact:

I was the architect for my grandmother’s house

State: Nevada
Email: Jessicaw@positivepresenceglobal.com

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Missy Vandenheuvel

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Missy is a revitalized mother of two teenagers who understands the resilience it takes to raise children in the midst of a global pandemic. She is a passionate mentor because she recognizes there isn’t nearly enough support for the overwhelming number of people silently struggling. Her sincere and compassionate personality is what makes her thrive as a coach and a leading member of our company. As our Sales manager she recognized that her role is to listen and learn as much about your child (or yourself) as possible. While listening, I am identifying a mentor coach that I believe your child will not only like based on their personality, but also one who has experienced and overcome similar pain points, and areas of opportunity, optimizing relatability. Ultimately, setting your child up for growth and fulfillment socially, mentally, and physically. 

Favorite Mindfulness Techniques:

My Favorite Mindful technique is to Shifting Thought Patterns by focusing on the Grounding Technique. Starts with a big belly breath in. Then, you tap into your 5 senses, to quickly and effortlessly shift your current focus. Choose a sense- any sense, and count down from 5 (order or senses can be altered): 5 things you see, 4 things you smell, 3 things you feel, 2 things you hear, 1 thing you taste.

A Fun Fact:

 I travel to Florida from Wisconsin 3-4 times a year, and we plan to relocate somewhere with the state in 1.5 years. I’ve been dreaming about this since I first saw the ocean at the age of 14 years old. 

State: Wyoming
Email: Missy@positivepresenceglobal.com

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